[man over radio] The losses on the value of your 401[k]s
or IRAs in the last few years.
Uh-oh. Looks like the interns are slacking off again.
Hey, Kyle. What's up?
[woman] The gunman was described as a loner...
I'm right behind you.
[woman] Jill, let's go. It's time for school.
Hi, stranger. [chuckles]
Bye. Have fun.
[elevator beeps]
[smooches] Come on. Bye.
So, any big plans this weekend?
[man] Fuck you.
Fuck you.
[chuckles] Fuck you.
Oh, man. Fuck you, man.
[man laughing]
-Oh, fuck. -Chad?
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. That's so fucked up.
-Are you Kyle? -Yeah. Hi.
The front desk says your wife is here. Some kind of emergency.
Oh, uh, thank you.
[laughing]
Hi. Hey, excuse me.
Did my--? Is my wife here? My name's Kyle Madison.
Her name's Mary. She said there might be some--
-I'm right here. It's okay. -Jesus! Wait.
What the fuck, ma--?
Oh, my God. What? Zack?
-Kyle? -What?
Come here, brother.
-What are you doing? How are you? -Oh, Jesus.
-Look at that. Fresh-faced. -Ha-ha-ha.
Wow. This is crazy timing. Apparently my wife is here
-with some kind of emergency-- -Emergency.
-Okay. Wow. -Okay. [laughs]
-Right? Come on, I got you out of school. -Okay.
-Let's go play. -Oh, Jesus. No, man, I...
[chuckles] Can you hang out in my office for like ten, 20, 30 minutes?
-I can do ten, 20. -Okay, come on.
[Kyle] So, how have you been?
What happened to you?
Uh, you know, I've...
I've been. [chuckles]
I mean, you, like, disappeared, man.
Yeah. Well, you know, me and college didn't really... you know?
But, hey, worked out for you, right?
So, what the heck are you doing here, man?
Oh, I'm here to save your soul.
Amazing. Save it from what?
The zombies. I mean, like, what is this place?
Uh, it's an office. Maybe you've heard of them.
Yeah, I've heard of them, but I mean, like,
what does this office in particular, like, you know, make?
It's a bank.
Oh, it's a bank? You're a banker?
Uh, no. No, I'm not. I'm the--
I'm a social media coordinator.
-Oh, okay. -It's actually-- It's...
It's actually kind of pretty creative. Uh...
I get to write on social media using different personas.
Like, different characters almost for different...
Okay, for example.
Right now, we're doing this, um, big Twitter campaign
-for our mortgage division. -Uh-huh.
Turns out, research says that it's, you know,
it's super-hard for millennials to get interested in mortgages
because of the economy and stuff.
And so it's my job to, you know, appeal to different demographics.
And, you know--
Hey, you still have the Manifesto?
The what?
The Manifesto, man. Don't tell me you threw it away.
Oh, my God. I can't believe you remember that.
Remember? Dude, I am never gonna forget the Manifesto as long as...
Hey, what are you doing Saturday?
Uh, jeez. Um...
Saturday, I actually think I have to come back in. My boss--
-No, you're not. You're coming with me. -Oh, I wish, man.
-What are you doing? -What are we doing?
[chuckles] Okay, what are we doing?
[makes muffled noise]
[laughs]
Okay. What does that mean?
Okay. It means, I got into town this morning, right? To do this--
I mean, I don't know how to-- I mean, to do this really cool thing.
You know? And then suddenly, I was like, holy shit.
Kyle. Kyle!
Kyle lives here. I miss Kyle.
I need Kyle.
And, you know, I think I can get you in.
And it's gonna be amazing, and we're gonna do it.
[chuckles] We're gonna do what?
We're gonna have, you know, an experience.
[both chuckling]
Oh, no.
[both laughing]
Okay. Okay. What kind of experience?
What kind of experience do you want?
Wow.
-Okay. Um... -Right?
And when does--? Or how long does this experience take?
It takes as long you want it to take. You know what I mean?
No, no, not really.
Well, can you be any less specific?
I cannot. And I will not say another word until you agree to come.
Oh, man, Zack.
-I missed you, man. [chuckles] -I missed you, man.
Why couldn't you have given me, like, any notice?
Kyle, I really want you to do this with me.
What if I said it was like a workshop?
Like a motivational workshop? Wha--?
Okay.
[phone rings]
Social Media, this is Kyle.
Hey, Chad.
-Yeah. -Okay, you're coming with me, all right?
It's 100 bucks. I can front you the money--
I mean, I don't have a credit card.
I don't care about the money. It's--
-[Chad] Yo, Kyle, my man. -Oh, my...
What about drinks? Sunday night. What's your number?
-I don't have a number. -You don't have a number. What?
-What do you mean? You don't--? -I don't have a number.
-[Chad] Kyle? -Um...
Okay. Sit down. Sit down, all right?
-And I will be right back. -Okay.
-Don't go anywhere, okay? -Okay.
-Hey, Chad. Did you--? -One sec, bud.
You're fucking me.
Oh, you are fucking me.
-Chad? -Ha-ha!
-You're so fucking me right now, man. -All right, I got a friend, but...
Stop it. Fuck you.
[Chad laughing]
[Chad] Fuck you, man.
You're fucking killing me. What'd she say?
[treadmill beeps]
[panting]
What is Rebirth? [chuckles]
Uh, let me tell you about Rebirth.
I think Rebirth, it's about getting out of your rut.
It's about getting in touch with yourself.
With your body.
[man] We live in a "one life fits all" culture.
And Rebirth dares you to find the life for you.
It's fun. It's fast. It's furious.
It's crazy. It's a blast.
[woman 1] People talk about the high that they get when they climb Everest.
I don't need Everest. I have Rebirth.
[woman 2] I'm the last person to do something like this.
But Rebirth opened me up to men, to sensuality.
To experimentation.
[woman 3] My first Rebirth, I didn't go with anyone. I was all by myself.
And so I was really nervous and kind of shy and in my shell.
And by the end, I just felt so much more confident in myself.
And I had had some of the most intense
sensual experiences of my life.
Hey.
Hey. Hey.
-You coming to bed? -Yeah, in a minute.
-What are you doing? -Oh.
Uh...
Just looking through this old stuff.
Hey, guess who came to work today out of nowhere. Zack.
Zack who?
You know, Zack. From college.
[chuckles] Oh.
That guy? Was he a student there?
Yeah. What do you mean?
Huh.
-He was wild. -Yeah, I guess.
So, what'd he want?
Nothing, I mean, you know, he just wanted to say, "What's up? Hi."
Okay.
Hey, hon?
Hey.
You know how you're always taking these girls' weekends?
[sighs]
Uh...
Excuse me. Do you know where everybody went?
Sorry.
Hey, honey, it's me.
Listen, I think you were right.
This thing is kind of dumb.
So, I was thinking maybe I could take Jill and...
Uh...
Hold-- I'm sorry, babe. Let me call you right back, okay?
I'll call you right back. Love you, bye.
[sighs]
Hello?
Anybody in here?
[line rings]
-[woman] 911. What is your emergency? -No. No, thank you.
[beeping]
[lock clicks]
What?
[music playing over TV]
[man] For the best outcome, we recommend checking into a hotel the night before,
away from the distractions of loved ones.
Set your humidifier to 85 percent.
Remove your clothes.
Relax. Visualize the events of your life leading to this moment.
Breathe.
Set your alarm a few hours before your shuttle's departure time
and practice the series of power poses shown earlier in this video.
[Distorted] Breathe.
[chuckles] What?
You are now centering your intentions for the day's journey
and are fully prepared.
[Distorted] Breathe.
Hey. Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Hey, hey, hey!
Wait, wait. Oh, come on. I...
I couldn't find you guys.
Thank you.
Hello?
I, uh...
Excuse me.
Oh!
Excuse me. Ahem. Hi.
Oh, well. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey, are you going to the Rebirth thing?
I found the clues or whatever. [chuckles]
Up in one of the rooms. It's pretty cool.
Um...
Wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey, wait!
The deeper you look, the more you see.
Come on.
All right.
Did I get it?
I don't think you're ready to get on this bus.
Oh.
Do you always give up this easy?
No, no, no. But you said no.
Hey.
Hey. Can I get on the bus, please?
Sir, may I get on the bus?
I'm getting on the bus.
[chuckles]
Hey. Ahem.
Oh. Uh--
And what's that for?
What's that...?
All right. Are we good? Uh...
Mind if I squeeze in?
Do you know Zack? Zack West.
Zachary West? My friend? He's...
All right. Hey. How's it going?
Excuse me. Sorry.
So, hey, uh, do you mind if I sit there?
It's the only seat.
Is that your bag? I'll just...
I'll just hold onto it, all right?
I'll just hold onto it. Thank you.
Well, this is super-creepy. Why are the windows covered?
Is everyone done with their forms? Hold them up like this.
Everyone done?
Please relinquish your cell phones.
Over the next two days, you're about to experience
actual person-to-person contact.
Some of you will find this highly disturbing.
Do not worry.
You will be safely re-tethered with the hive mind after the weekend.
We will not make you do anything against your morals.
You are free to leave whenever you want.
Would anybody like me to pull over the bus now and call a cab?
Rebirth is not for everyone.
You can return to the zombie world right now.
No one knows you're here.
And no one will think anything less of you.
Would anyone like to leave?
Good.
Now get your war paint on.
[brakes hiss]
[man 1 over PA] Do not speak. Do not remove your blindfold.
If you speak, you will be asked to leave.
If you remove your blindfold, you will be asked to leave.
Do not speak. Do not remove your blindfold.
If you speak, you will be asked to leave.
[man 2] Everybody stop!
--you will be asked to leave.
[alarm blaring]
Do not speak. Do not...
[air hissing]
--you will be asked to leave.
If you remove your blindfold, you will be asked to leave.
[man 2] Proceed!
[man 3 yelling]
[man 4] Shut up! Put that on, you piece of shit.
[man 3] I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll be good!
[metal detector squeaking]
[dog barking]
[man 5] Halt.
Remove your hands from the man in front of you.
Do not speak.
You may now remove your blindfolds.
Welcome to your Rebirth.
Oh...
[over speakers] ♪ I said Welcome to your rebirth ♪
[woman vocalizes over speakers]
[explosive noise]
[hip-hop music playing over speakers]
[man 1] Yeah. [man 2] Yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
[man 3] Hey, hey, hey.
[man 4] There he is.
[all cheering]
[all chanting] Rebirth! Rebirth! Rebirth!
That's nice. I don't really know what to say, though.
-Just tell the truth, brother. -[man 5] Yeah.
Okay. Well, if I must, then...
-Welcome home. -[man 2] Yeah!
[man 3] Yeah!
I said, welcome the fuck home!
[all cheering]
[whooping]
Two days. We've got two days to do this.
And then we've gotta go back out there.
Back to their bullshit.
[crowd] Yeah. [man 6] That's right.
Two days and two rules.
The first rule, the most important rule, the golden rule,
the alpha and omega rule, is you can leave any time you want.
[man 1] Yeah. [man 2] Exactly.
-[man 3] Yeah! -What's rule number two, guys?
[all] No leaders!
Yeah, no leaders, okay?
What's rule number three?
[all] No spoilers!
You can't tell your friends what Rebirth is all about.
Just tell them to get their asses down here.
[man 4] Yeah. [man 5] Yeah.
Now, the last rule, the platinum rule,
the rule to end all rules is what?
[all] No spectators!
Fucking no spectators.
I remember the first time I made it through that hotel into Rebirth.
I thought I was a big deal.
-You know, I own three houses. -[man 1] Yeah.
I got boats in two different oceans.
I haven't flown coach in four years.
I don't need this Rebirth bullshit.
[crowd] Yeah.
And then I realized.
The man you are before you come to Rebirth...
...doesn't mean jack-fucking-shit!
[all cheering]
[man 1] Didn't mean shit.
Out there is just an image you create for the zombie world.
-You don't get to be a zombie in here. -[man 2] No.
You've gotta murder your inner zombie here.
[all] Yeah!
You've gotta wrap it in plastic and stuff a towel in its mouth
-to shut it the fuck up. -[all] Yeah!
Then you gotta drive it in a car to a goddamn hole in a desert.
[all cheering]
By the way, how many fetuses do we have here today?
[all laugh]
Newbies, how many new people? Get your hands up, let's see it.
All right, you guys may have heard some scary things about Rebirth.
Who's heard scary things?
You, what scares you about Rebirth?
Nothing.
[all laugh]
Well, I can't argue with that.
Um, all right, how about...
you, big man?
Uh...
Nothing.
[man 1] What?
[host] Fuck me.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Did you really just make the same joke that guy made five seconds ago?
What did we say the most important rule was?
Uh...
-Hello? -You can leave whenever you want.
All right? Wasn't that...?
No spectators.
-You know why we say that? Hello? -Uh-- Oh.
Hello? Hello? Is anybody home?
-Because, um-- -Because spectators judge.
Right? They just sit back, they don't take risks.
And they just criticize, criticize, criticize...
[blathering]
It's like those pussies on the Internet taking shots at the successful people.
Where are you from, by the way?
-Uh, Minnesota originally. -Minnesota.
Oh, man, Minnesota.
Minnesota. Minne-Minne-Minne-Minnesota.
Land of the stoics.
Land of good common sense.
I think Mr. Minnesota thinks he's too good for us.
Are you too good for us, Minnesota?
-No. -They can't hear you.
-What's your name? -Kyle.
Kyle. You think you're too good for us, Kyle?
No, all right? No. [chuckles]
Yes, you do. You know how I know?
When I saw you walk in here, everybody else was dancing
and letting it all hang out, and you're thinking:
"I'm too cool for this.
Self-help is for losers."
And do you know how I know?
Because I was scared my first time too.
I'm gonna let you off the hook now, Kyle.
How about a big Rebirth round of applause for Kyle?
[all cheering]
[all] Rebirth, Rebirth, Rebirth.
That's right.
When I realized what Rebirth demands and the doors it opens,
I was scared as shit.
You know who's really scared? The zombies.
[man 1] Oh! [man 2] Boo!
[host] They're scared we're a cult.
How about it? Are we a cult?
[all] No!
Well, then say it. Not a cult.
[all] Not a cult.
-Repeat it. -[all] Not a cult.
Not a cult. Not a cult. Not a cult.
[woman] I think you need to leave.
Not a cult.
[host] That's right.
-I said, I think you need to leave. -[host] A cult doesn't ask questions.
-A cult gives you answers. -What?
-Are you talking to me? -[host] I want you to question everything.
A cult doesn't let you leave.
You don't belong in this room.
[host] We only have this building till manana. You guys have to leave.
Are you serious? I...
Because of what he said?
I'm pretty sure he was just using me as an example.
-[host] We're asking, keep this secret. -I'm cool. It's cool.
[woman] You need to leave.
[host] You're trusting that you're with people...
-You seriously want me to leave? -Before I bring up our next guest...
-...let's say a few words about-- Fuck it. -Fine.
-You all know who he is.
Please give a big Rebirth welcome to Jesse.
[all] Rebirth, Rebirth, Rebirth.
[Kyle] Did I do something wrong? My friend, Zack, signed me up for this.
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Can I just see if he's here maybe?
Or--?
Why are you doing this?
Why am I doing what?
Why did you make me leave?
-I didn't make you leave. -Are you serious? You said--
You said, "I think you should leave."
What--? Oh, come on.
Because, like, you didn't force me to leave, so I should...?
Should I go back? [chuckles]
Why do you think I asked you to leave?
[chuckles] You said I didn't belong.
So, I don't know, was I not cool enough or...?
Who exactly are you, anyway?
Are you, like, in charge or...?
Why do you think not belonging is such a bad thing?
-Isn't that the whole point? -Whole point of what?
This. Of this.
The point of what?
Okay. [chuckles]
Okay, okay, so, is this how this works?
Is this how what works?
Uh... [chuckles]
Is this, like, an exercise? This whole thing?
-What whole thing? -Heh.
You're not gonna stop, are you?
Okay, so should I...?
I'll go back to the thing now.
-What thing? -The thing.
The seminar, dance party, whatev--
The whole reason I'm here.
Okay, okay, I'm going.
So, that's the reason you're here?
Well, I don't know. Is there something else?
Would you like there to be something else?
I don't know. What else is there to do?
What would you like to do?
[chuckles]
I've never been to one of these things before. Why don't you tell me?
Why don't you ask me the question you really wanna ask?
Okay, well, what is--? What question is that?
Why did I single you out?
Okay, okay, why did you single me out?
Why do you think I singled you out?
Because I'm the new guy
and you guys wanna do something to me?
Do you wanna do something to me?
No, no.
I don't-- I don't-- I wasn't...
I don't-- I mean, what? I...
Is that okay with you?
Is it okay with you?
Look, no, no, no, I don't...
[chuckles]
I mean, that depends on what you wanna do.
What...
...are we talking about?
What's rule number two?
Oh...
-No leaders? -What do you think that means?
It means we can...
do whatever we want.
Oh, fuck. Oh, man.
-So, what do you wanna do? -I don't know.
I honestly don't know. I...
I'm terrible at this. Please just tell me.
Why don't you just say it?
Is it because you don't know?
Or you're afraid that I might judge your answer?
[chuckles]
No...
Would you like to go to the Wish Room?
The what?
What's the Wish Room?
What do you think it is?
[chuckles]
I-- I imagine it's a room where you make a wish and it comes true?
Is that the kind of room that you'd like to go to?
I mean, who wouldn't, right?
I don't know. Who wouldn't?
So, what you're saying is that I ask you, tell you,
to take me to the Wish Room and you'd take me there?
Do you think that's the way this works?
Take me to the Wish Room.
[man over speakers] Relax.
[man speaks in French]
[in English] You're floating away.
Breathe.
[sighs]
[man speaks in French]
[door opens]
[in English] You are floating away.
Oh, sorry.
[man speaks in French]
[in English] Surrender to the power of the ocean.
Breathe.
[whale calls playing over speakers]
[woman panting]
What the fuck?
Hey!
[in English] Surrender to the power of the ocean.
[man speaks in French]
[in English] Breathe.
Jesus Christ.
[all chanting] Rebirth! Rebirth! Rebirth!
Hello?
Where'd everyone go?
[man 1] Be quiet.
[man 1] We're all good, right? All good?
Oh.
Hi. Sorry. Uh...
No, no, no. Come on in, please.
Uh... No, I-- I-- I...
Welcome. Join us.
Okay, but I'm a fetus, I guess. [chuckles]
I'm just looking for the big room.
Oh, we have plenty of space in here.
Please, have a seat.
Right. Okay, okay. Sorry.
All right.
Hi. Hi.
Sorry.
What's your name?
Uh, Kyle.
Kyle.
I'm Air.
-Hi. -I feel like I knew you were coming.
[chuckles] Did you feel it, too?
Um... Well... [chuckles]
We're really glad to have you join us.
Join our circle.
Thank you. Great. Yeah, me too. [chuckles]
Okay, everyone, relax.
Close your eyes.
Relax.
Breathe.
Feel each other's presence.
There's something else in the room, isn't there?
Does everyone else feel it?
It's floating.
Somewhere...
over there.
Over Kyle. Near the ceiling.
Oh. It's a wave of pure white light.
Breathe it in.
[Air gasps]
Something's not right.
I feel like it wants to hurt me.
Like it's inside of me, touching me with it's--
Oh, God, who brought this thing in here?!
[man] You okay?
-It's okay. It's okay, what's wrong? -I'm sorry.
I lost the connection.
I'm so sorry. I'm trying so hard.
Don't be sorry. Let's explore that.
When did you lose it?
Mmm.
Well, I think I might know the answer.
You mind if I say it?
Was it when this asshole burst in here like a wet fart?
[Kyle] Wait. Wha...?
Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay. It's over, okay?
Come on, come on.
There you go, there you go.
-It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. -I am so sorry.
Why don't you go ahead and have a seat, okay?
There you go.
-Hey, I'm sorry. I-- -Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. You're okay, right, Air?
See? See? No one got punched in the face.
All right? Let's reboot. Not restart.
It's good.
Okay, so...
How about we try it again? Yup?
[clears throat]
Kyle? You wanna give it a shot?
-I don't know what you guys are doing. -Don't worry, no one's gonna bite.
Stand up.
-Come on, stand up. -Sorry.
There you go.
[exhaling]
There you go. Are you good?
-Yeah, I'm-- Yeah. -Okay. All right.
Okay, come on.
-All right. -Sorry.
Go ahead.
What do you want me to do?
Just go for it.
Go ahead and lead us.
Okay, I...
Sorry, I'm not supposed to be here now, so--
You're not supposed to be here now?
Yeah, yeah, no. I was with the...
Or I missed the end of the orientation, so I think I'm...
Uh, I'm supposed to be, you know...
This is, like, an advanced group, right?
Wow. Mm.
Someone wanna tell me where the advanced group is?
That sounds pretty cool.
What do they teach in the advanced group? How to walk through walls and shit?
Okay.
-You want me to leave? -Why are you asking me?
This is like an exercise, right?
This is like an exercise? No.
No.
This is reality.
Are you supposed to be here or not? You tell me. I've never fucking met you.
Okay.
I'm gonna-- Excuse me.
Hey, hey, hey, relax. Relax, come here.
I'm just fucking with you to make a point, okay?
You are supposed to be here, Kyle.
Please, stay with us. [chuckles]
-You're supposed to be here, okay? -Okay.
Okay, sit down. Come on.
Come on, sit down. You're good, come on.
There you go.
I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry.
That's okay, man.
[grunting]
Oh, what happened? Someone hit you?
The fuck?!
Or it's just an exercise. So, what do you do when someone hits you?
You just take it like that?
Fuck, man, you can't just fucking hit people!
Why not?
Anyone else think their ego trumps the death of the universe?
You can leave any time.
What about you, Spielberg? You getting enough for your spank reel?
Let me out now! What the fuck is your problem, man?
Everything was just fine till you showed up. Wasn't it, gang?
-I don't need this. -You don't need what?
I don't need whatever bullshit test you're teaching, man.
Don't you fucking listen to anything?
There are no teachers here.
-I'm not gonna hit you, man. -What?
[chuckles] Why would I want you to hit me?
Is that how you get hard? You make Daddy spank you?
-Oh, no, what's going on? No one there? -God.
Maybe they want you here for a reason.
Why don't you sit the fuck down next to Air
and she can tell you more about what angel dicks taste like.
Really nice, guys. You just let this guy bully you?
They're here to admit that consciousness is a mistake.
-Not take over class on day one. -Oh, whatever.
Jesus Christ!
You got a seriously fucked up life, man. I almost felt bad for you.
Cute wife. You think you were her first choice?
Wow, look at those guys. Nice polo.
-These guys even alive? -How did you get these?
"Hey, guys, totally got the hookup from National First on my mortgage.
Hashtag "first time homeowner," hashtag "woot," hashtag "YOLO."
Wow. Really good to see that $80,000 creative writing MFA isn't going to waste.
How did you get these?
-Is that my phone? -Technically,
until the end of the weekend, it's our phone.
-Give me that back. -This isn't really a phone, is it?
-This is the key to his prison cell. -Oh, my fucking God.
Wow. You see that? You see how worked up he's getting?
-I believe that's what we call a red flag. -You stole my phone.
You gave this to total strangers willingly!
This has got your entire life on here, man.
Pictures of your daughter, your wife.
-Fuck. -Layout of your house.
Home addresses of friends and family.
The passwords of your security systems and bank accounts
just saved in your e-mail folder, like an idiot.
You don't even have a passcode on this.
Hey, hey, no--
It's okay. Dude, it is okay.
I'm as bad as you.
We all are, aren't we?
This?
This is not reality. None of the shit on here is real.
That's reality.
This...
...is just silicon and air.
Let me out.
-Oh, come on. It's over, let's be friends. -I wanna leave right now.
Don't you listen to anything?
You can go any time you want.
There's the door.
Namaste.
All right, everybody take off your clothes.
[groans]
Fucking goddamn it.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck!
[sighs]
[grunting]
-Can we help you? -[Kyle] How do I get out of here?
Are you feeling all right? You look a little--
Hey, hey. Hold on one second. Are you sure you feel all right?
Just show me how to get out of this dungeon.
Oh. I think it's this way.
I'm Todd, by the way. You're Kyle, right?
How do you know my name?
You're the one that Ray picked on in his speech, right?
Hey, don't feel bad about that.
He always tries to throw you off-balance your first time.
-It's sort of an honor. -Just show me how to get out of here.
Cool, cool. Yeah, right this way.
Can I just say something, Kyle? Kyle, if I may.
-Breathe. -I am.
No, no, really take a second.
You know, calm your body and just breathe.
Breathe? You want me to breathe?
A guy fucking punched me, threw a chair, broke into my phone.
Wow. Okay, was he trying to make a point or--?
I don't care.
I know where you're coming from, man.
-Yeah, Rebirth, it's intense. -Fuck.
I washed out my first three tries.
And it took me four years before I came back.
Lost everything in those four years. My job, my credit, my house.
My two girls wouldn't even talk to me because I couldn't face the things
that Rebirth was trying to get me to confront.
-I don't care. -Can I just say?
The whole point of Rebirth, basically,
is to find what you need, not what you want.
And sometimes, what you need, Kyle, not super-pleasant.
I don't need any of this.
Fair enough, but you know if you walk into a room
and it's too heavy for you, you just leave.
That's what you're supposed to do.
See, everybody needs something different, so every room is different,
but you gotta keep opening those doors.
He broke into my phone.
And it stays in the room.
Everything stays in the room.
Just show me where the exit is.
I think I know where you were. Yeah.
Can I just say, it's not gonna get worse than that?
Unless you want it to. Can I say that?
Is the shuttle out there?
You're already here, man.
It's more interesting than, what, a night of TV?
And don't forget about Zack.
You know Zack?
Of course I know Zack. I love Zack.
So, Zack is here?
Uh... [groans]
I don't think I can actually say that.
You don't? It's easy.
He's either here or he's not. Yes or no.
No, but not no as in he's not here. No as in...
I can't break the spoiler rule, man.
-Fuck. -Okay, look.
Look, look, look. Wait, wait, wait.
You're not supposed to find him yet.
And if he were here, theoretically... you will.
Maybe.
[groans]
I wish I could say more.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Okay.
Off the record.
There are no leaders here, man.
Zack is doing his Rebirth just like everybody else.
Just like everybody else.
And when you're supposed to find him...
I'm gonna take you to a room you're gonna love, okay?
Spoiler curtain down. You are gonna love it.
Man to man, no cameras, no bullshit.
You're gonna love this room.
Hey, guys. This is Kyle.
He's a good friend of Zack's.
-[woman] Hi, Kyle. -I love Zack.
[man] Welcome, Kyle. I'm Gabriel.
Call me Gabe.
Come. Join us.
This is Kyle's first Rebirth. He's feeling a little overwhelmed.
He could really use some unconditional love.
Leave the door open.
Whatever makes you comfortable.
If anybody fucks with me again, I will call 911.
[all chuckle]
Deal.
[Gabe] Mm. [woman] Mm.
-Welcome. -Hi.
Okay. That's all right. Hi.
[Gabe] Kyle.
This circle is about honesty.
It's about saying whatever's on your mind right now, in the moment.
Okay.
Kyle, I feel like you're really nervous right now.
Yeah, well...
Yeah, yeah.
[Gabe] That's okay, that's okay.
Just tell us what you're thinking at this moment.
Now... be honest.
Okay. Uh...
I think this whole Rebirth thing is pretty fucked up.
[woman 1] Mm. [woman 2] Hmm.
[Gabe] Hm.
[all] Mm.
I remember feeling the exact same way.
-I totally empathize. -Okay, thank you.
Is there something you wanna share with the group?
Nope, nope. Everything's good.
It's all great. Everything's great. Thank you, that's fine.
Thank you. Carry on.
You know, I don't--
I don't feel like you're being honest.
I don't feel like that, either.
Yeah, well, what do you want?
All we want is honesty.
Now, if you have to say something negative...
...just be honest about it.
Okay.
I think this is a fucking joke.
I think you're all a bunch of arrogant assholes
who think you're superior to everyone because... [chuckles]
I don't know, you're so open-minded,
it'd be okay if someone shot you in the face?
And I'm fucking pissed I wasted a day I could've spent with my kid
doing this hippie bullshit my friend,
who I don't even really know is my friend, tricked me into.
And I don't know what this is,
but I wouldn't be surprised if you dick-sacks
are stealing my identity right now.
And I wanna go home.
Is that honest enough for you, Gabe?
I just wanna say that I'm really connecting
to what Kyle is feeling right now.
Me too.
[Gabe] What's making you feel connected to Kyle?
I guess, his honesty about feeling like he doesn't belong,
because I was feeling that way, too.
And I'm glad that someone just came in here
and called everyone on their bullshit.
[Gabe] Mmm.
Kyle.
How do you feel about that?
Uh, good, I guess.
I'm feeling, like, a lot of anger out of you.
But, like, a lot of life, too,
-and I don't know, um... vitality? -[Gabe] Mm.
-And I'm kind of really drawn to that. -[woman 3] Me too.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling like this tractor beam of male energy...
that I haven't felt anywhere else this weekend.
Can I say something weird?
Just stay in the moment.
I feel like, I go to these kinds of things a lot,
and I meet a lot of guys who wanna be here.
But I never meet guys who should be here...
...until now.
And this is probably terrible to say about a first-timer, but...
I probably shouldn't say it.
Just... tell the truth.
When I look at Kyle...
...I see this...
...huge, angry...
...erect cock.
[women chuckling]
[all chuckle]
Do you feel threatened by the cock?
How does the cock make you feel?
Happy.
Intrigued.
Okay.
Horny.
[Gabe] Kyle.
How do you feel hearing this?
Uh...
I-- It...
Good. This-- I mean, it's nice. Thank you.
-[Gabe] Is that all? -I, uh... Um...
I don't know.
Do you feel any shame having these women tell you how they feel about you?
No, no.
No, no, no.
I don't know, I don't know.
Oh, good, good. Stay with that.
How about you, Betty?
What do you feel about Kyle right now?
I'm starting to feel really turned on.
I just wanna say that I'm feeling this...
...amazing spontaneity in the room right now.
[all chuckle]
I feel like we're all on the same wavelength...
...of breaking through our inhibitions
and doing something really crazy, don't you, guys?
[all chuckling]
Do you feel like you're waiting for someone to take the first step?
-Kind of. -[Gabe] Mm.
Kind of.
Man.
[Gabe] All right. Now I wanna check back in with Kyle.
Kyle.
How are you feeling?
Do you feel safe?
Uh, heh...
Yeah?
[Gabe] Uh, you know that felt more like a question than an answer.
-Do you still wanna go home? -Uh...
[Gabe] Hmm?
[man] Hello?!
[Gabe] Kyle.
What would you like to have happen in this room?
-[man] Hello?! -I don't know, I don't--
Not sure.
[man] Hello?
[Gabe] Betty? [man] Hello?
What do you want Kyle to do right now?
I want Kyle to fuck me.
-Really? -Yeah.
[man] Please, please. [Gabe] Kyle, do you wanna do that?
[man] Somebody help me! Please.
I, uh... What is--?
-[man] Please, somebody help me! -Who is that? What is that?
[man] You fucking sick motherfuckers!
All right, does anybody--? Do you hear--? Is that a thing?
Is that part of this?
Why do you think that person is your responsibility?
[man] This is so fucked up!
All right, all right, all right. Jesus. Jesus Christ.
-[woman] I know, right? -Who is that?
Do you think that man's needs trump your own?
What is this? Is this part of this? Is this part of the thing?
You can't return to the same place twice.
[man] I'm being held against my will!
[Kyle] Jesus.
[man] Held against my will!
Anybody. Anybody, please.
Who is that?
-[man] Can anybody fucking hear me? -Hello?
What the fuck?
-Hello? -[man] Oh, God, please!
What the hell is going on?
What do you think is going on?
-[man] Is someone out there? -Who is that?
-Who do you think it is? -Stop. Stop.
-Stop with that shit! -Stop what?
[man] Anybody, please. Anybody.
Kyle, please stop. He's fine.
-Open the door! -[man] Is someone out there?
Okay, it's not what it looks like. He knows he can quit any time.
[man] Hello?!
Hello? Hello?
Goddamn it, is this real?!
Okay, the man behind this door is at a very delicate phase of his Rebirth.
-Shut up. I don't wanna hear it! -Okay, just stop.
I never told you about my life before Rebirth.
I don't care.
I could tell you I was a drug addict.
I could tell you that my kid was taken away from me.
I could tell you anything, but it doesn't matter.
What matters is I'm not the same person I used to be.
-[man] Please. -I don't even know your name, lady.
Kyle!
Okay, I know this looks crazy, but he actually needs this.
Jesus, Zack.
-Zack? -Stop talking to him.
-We need help. -What are they doing to you?
It's okay. I don't want you to talk to him. We're getting help--
-Get out of here! -It's okay, sweetie--
Shut up!
[grunts]
Okay. I'm gonna get you down, all right?
Jesus. Fuck.
Okay.
All right, all right, hold still.
Oh, I can feel your belly.
What the fuck happened to your pants, man?
-Ha-ha-ha! -What the hell are you laughing at?
God.
What the fuck did they do--?
-Oh, fuck. -Careful.
One of those buckets is my bathroom.
What?
Hey, did I, like, tell you how much it means to me
-that you came this weekend? -Put this on.
-Okay? Put this on. -Is it time? Is it T-shirt time?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's T-shirt time. Come on, come on.
Jesus Christ.
What are these, man?
Are these branding marks?
Those are my Rebirths, man.
Come on, come on, come on.
Jesse's trying--
Is helping break my attachments to the domination game.
To, like, the status thing. You know what I'm saying?
-You're gonna put these pants on. -No, no, no.
Put the pants on. Put them on.
You were just screaming for help. Why not?
[laughing]
No, no, no. Oh, my God. Oh, no, no. No.
No, no, no.
[woman] Stop hurting him! Stop hurting him.
Zack, are you okay?
Where's Jesse? Is Jesse out there? Naomi, just-- Could you get Jesse?
-Could you get Jesse? -Who the fuck is Jesse?
[Naomi] Jesse's coming, honey. Hang in there.
Okay, thank you, Naomi.
All right, I hope you know that I have called the police,
and they are on their way.
[Naomi] No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
-Fuck. Hey, Kyle, Kyle, I... -Oh, fuck.
[Zack squeals]
Stop it.
Stop, stop, stop. What's wrong with you?
It's okay. No, no, no. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
It's my supplements.
-Are they drugging you? -No, no. Not drugs.
They're supplements.
My God. You're not gonna hurt Jesse, are you?
-You're not gonna hurt Jesse. -You're drugging him?
How long have you been with these people?
-Uh... -Huh?
That I don't-- Because we jump around a lot, you know what I mean?
Because Je-- Have you met Jesse?
Who the fuck is Jesse?
-[Naomi] Jesse's almost here. -It's okay, it's okay.
Because this is my friend.
This is my best friend, Naomi.
Oh, God. Wait, wait.
You're not-- Hold on. I hope the money--
-Is the money--? Are you mad about--? -What do you mean?
What money?
[slamming on door]
What money?
Jesse says that money is just a construct, too.
-So, it's fine, it's fine. -No, no, no.
They didn't make you give them your money.
No, no, no, not my money. Your money. [chuckles]
What do you mean, my money? What are you talking about?
What does he mean, my money?
[Naomi] You shouldn't be talking to him right now, asshole.
What do you mean, my money? What have you done?
-What did you freaks do to my money? -You're doing it!
What did you do? What have you done to me?
What did I--? What...?
[man whistles]
[man] Zachariah, are you there?
-Jesse! -Okay, why are--?
Come on.
-Jesse. -Aah!
[grunting]
-I come in peace. -Aah!
No, Kyle, no!
-No! -Zachariah, stop it.
Your friend can't help it. He's not a Birthling.
What did we talk about?
Your friend is not a Birthling.
You can't be expecting him to have the insight--
Sir, I believe in a peaceful revolution through massage and the--
Stop it! Stop with your brainwashing bullshit.
I'm not listening. I can't hear you.
What the fuck is this, huh?
Cupcakes? What the fuck is going on?! Aah!
-[Zack] Jesse! Jesse! -No, no, no.
No, we've seen your friend. Now we're leaving.
No, no, no. Let him help you.
Tell me what your body's feeling. Tell me what your body's feeling.
-Please, please. -Every cell in your body has been trained
by millions of years of evolution to fight, to survive.
What you're feeling now is real life.
Don't you feel it?
[Jesse] You're just not used to such a pure dose.
Your mind's reacting.
Shut up. My friend was shitting in a bucket, screaming for help!
[Zack] No, no, you're hurting Jesse.
-[Naomi] Knock it down, knock it down. -That was real. Do it again.
[banging on door]
-No, no, hit me again, please. -Do it again.
-Stop it. -No, hit me.
-Shut up. -Hit me again.
-[Naomi] Just knock it down! -Stay out!
-Knock it down!
Hit me again.
-They're coming! -Back off, I'll do it.
I'll fucking do it. Come on, Zack, let's go.
It's okay, it's okay, Kyle, okay?
-We still love you. -[Jesse] Zack?
Kyle's the master now. Do what he says.
-[Zack] Okay. -This is it.
-Can you feel it? -[laughs] Yes, I can feel it.
Shut up!
Back off. Zack, let's go, move.
All right, everybody back off, or I will kill him!
Do it, man. Do it.
Shut up, man!
-Go, go. Get back, get back. -Okay, okay, no one's gonna get hurt.
-Kill me now, master. I'm ready to ascend. -That's enough, Jesse. Stop it.
[laughing]
I think we got a situation here. You need to kill that footage now.
Go.
[Kyle] Where do we go? Do we go down?
Where the fuck do we go? Zack!
[Naomi] We got a breach!
Breach!
[Naomi] Okay, Zack, I need to know what you've told him.
Don't talk to her, Zack, all right? He didn't tell me nothing, okay?
We just wanna get on that shuttle and go home.
Where the fuck is the exit?!
Sir, sir, you know this is not real, right?
-Shut up, shut up. -Okay, all right, what's your name?
-What's his name? -Kyle-something.
-This guy is having a psychotic episode. -Yeah, no shit.
-Can we get a doctor over here, please? -Yeah.
[Kyle] How do you get out of here?
Hey, honey, the exit is this way, where it's always been.
Found a doctor.
Okay, sir, can we just stop moving for a second?
[Naomi] Okay, everyone. Just stay calm.
[doctor] Sir, what's your name?
-What's his name? -Kyle.
-It's Kyle. -[doctor] Okay, Karl.
I'm a psychiatrist at First Memorial. I'm here for the seminar, like you.
You just tell him to stop whatever the fuck he's trying to do.
-Just let us go, all right? -No-- No problem.
Some people's brains have a hard time adjusting to Rebirth.
So, just breathe.
They're trying to lock you back in their cage, master.
-Don't listen to them. -[Naomi] Shut up, Jesse.
-[man 1] I think he went to the Wish Room. -Yes, he did. I took him there.
-[man 1] Jesus Christ. -That's it. That's the door.
-That's the door. -Are you sure?
-Stand back, stand back. -[man 2] Stay.
-Easy. -Open the door, Zack.
Get over here and open the fucking door.
-It's locked. -[doctor] Listen.
If you go back into the real world without decompressing,
you're gonna have a serious brain damage--
-[Kyle] Shut up! -It's not a door. It's a wall.
It's a window, open it.
Shut up! Everyone shut up and just let me think!
[panting]
[Kyle grunting]
[panting]
No. Hey, Karl, Karl, don't do it, man.
Karl, don't do it, man. Don't do something you're gonna regret.
-[man] Come back home. -It's a stupid thing to do.
It's a stupid thing to do.
-Karl, don't do it-- -Shut up!
Nobody fucking move.
Zack.
Let's go.
Zack, let's go.
All right, move.
[Kyle] Hello?
Hello?!
Oh, my God. I'm so fucking hard right now.
God, fuck.
[gasping]
[Kyle panting]
[gasping]
Zack!
[all chanting] Rebirth! Rebirth! Rebirth!
Aah!
Zack! Zack!
[yelling]
[all cheering]
[yelling]
[gasps]
[speaking indistinctly]
It's okay, really.
-What's going on? -That's not funny.
What the fuck is going on?
Told you, man.
Zack!
Welcome home, brother. [laughing]
[all chanting] Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!
No, no, no!
Zack!
Zack! Zack! Zack!
Zack!
Zack! Zack! Zack!
[all cheering]
Zack? Zack? Zack?
Yeah!
[all] Yeah!
Whoo!
[all] Whoo!
Oh, shit, man. [laughing]
Hey, everybody.
Let's show my boy Kyle some Rebirth love.
[all cheering]
-What--? -What do you think, man?
What do you think? You think they like you? [chuckles]
[all laugh]
Hey, what some of you may not know--
What some of you may not know is that this man...
...is like a brother to me.
And what you may also not know, is that this guy right here,
is one of the main inspirations...
...for all of this. Huh?
[whooping and cheering]
-Whoo! -[all] Yeah!
That's the man. That's it.
Huh?
[man 1] Yeah! [man 2] Yeah!
And you know what else?
I think this motherfucker just made Phase 2 in record time.
[all laugh]
-Right here, Phase Two. -What the fuck? What the fuck?
Yeah.
[man 1] Yeah. [man 2] Right?
-What the fuck are you doing? -What's that, brother?
What?
Okay. Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, man.
You just Rebirthed, you know?
You just Rebirthed. That's a rush. It's a rush. It's just adrenaline.
It's just adrenaline. Here, tell the camera. Tell the camera.
Tell the camera. Tell the camera.
-Tell the camera. -No, no.
Tell the camera. Tell the camera.
-No, no, no. -Hey, hey, hey.
Don't fucking touch me. Don't fucking touch me!
-Don't fucking touch me! -Ease off.
Hey, hey, hey. Kyle, this is the best part.
Hey, man. It's over. It's over, man.
-Don't touch me. -[man] Kyle. Kyle.
-Don't touch me. -This is the best part.
Hey, let's get Kyle back, everybody.
-Kyle! Kyle! -[all] Kyle! Kyle!
[all chanting] Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!
[birds chirping]
Hey, man. Kyle.
Kyle, hey.
Kyle, come on, give me a chance--
Let me expl-- It's over, man.
-Let me go. Let me go. Let me go. -Okay, all right, okay, no problem.
Take me to my car or I call the police.
[Zack] Kyle.
Nothing was ever gonna happen. Nobody was gonna get--
Jesse's a stuntman. He's, like, a black belt.
I did this...
I thought...
I thought you would dig it. I...
I'm so sorry.
I don't wanna talk to this guy. Can you shut the door?
-Can you shut the door? -Are you coming on, sir?
No, he's not. He's not.
Mary?
[line ringing]
[sighs]
Uh...
I'm done. I'm done. It's over.
Hey, where are you guys now?
[Mary] We're coming back from swim practice. We're almost home.
Right. Uh...
-Right. Okay. -Okay, bye.
[sighs]
[cell phone dings]
No. No.
No.
[line ringing]
Fuck.
[man] Hello and welcome
to the National First Fraud Protection System.
This call may be recorded for quality assurance.
If you'd like to report fraudulent activity on your--
[key beeps]
Thank you. If this is regarding your checking account, press one.
For a money market account, press two.
If you'd like to look deeper and see more, press--
Thank you. If you'd like to stop trying to please people
who don't care about you, press one.
If you need instructions for operating your escape pod
from Planet Zombie, press two.
If you are Kyle Madison and are calling
because you'd like to find out what happens next, press three.
If you'd like to learn more ways to breathe, press four.
-If you're scared over a change... -Oh, my God.
If you like to talk again, press six.
If you like to return to the same place...
What the fuck?!
Jesus. Jesus Christ.
Hey, buddy, do you mind? I said, do you mind?
We got a lot of options to get through.
If you believe existence ends at brain death,
-press-- -Who is this?
What are you doing?!
I'm sorry, I didn't get your answer. If you'd like to leave Rebirth...
No. No. No.
What the fuck?!
Oh, my...
[yells]
No. No. No.
No!
[panting] [water splashes]
Hey, there's my guy. Got a towel, man?
Jesus, what the fuck do you think you're doing?
[grunts] Man, you know, after one of these weekends,
it feels, like, a tour in Kabul, man.
I need me, like, a nice hot soak.
My wife is coming home. This is my house!
I know. It's nice, man. Really digging the Jacuzzi.
No towel?
[whistles]
-Hey, guy, you need any help with that? -What have you done?
-Why are you doing this? -Because you're not finished.
Fuck you. This, this is over.
Come on. There's an after party at Jesse's.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God is right. I mean, those sheets are amazing.
-What's the thread count on those? -Mary is gonna be home. Any second.
What else did you do?
I didn't do anything. I've been in the bath the whole time.
Hey, man, do you mind if I put some tunes on?
I already guessed the Wi-Fi password was "Mumford." Heh.
[groans]
-Check it out, dude, you made the cover. -Oh, fuck.
Stop. Just stop. Stop it. Stop!
Why are you trying to destroy my life?
I'm not trying to destroy your life, man.
I'm trying to save your life. I'm here to help you.
I don't want your help!
Oh, fuck!
What do you people want from me?
We want you to stop living your life like a spectator, okay?
[sobs]
That's it? You all done?
All out of fight?
What the fuck happened to you, man?
Fuck the man. Keep it real. Don't be boring.
-What? What are you talking about? -I'm talking about you!
I'm talking about your dogma, dude.
The Manifesto? Your words? Do they mean anything to you anymore?
Oh, my God. You mean, do I believe in a thing we wrote as a joke
when we were 20 years old on shrooms?
[chuckles]
Yeah. It wasn't a joke. And you know it.
Stop. Stop it, all right? Just stop.
Just tell me what you want before Mary comes home.
I wanna help.
-You're destroying my life! -You're destroying your life!
You're destroying it! You sit all day at a job you fucking hate.
You bilk young kids out of money, so they're so immersed in debt
that they're enslaved to the system for the rest of their fucking lives.
You can't get a boner, dude. And you know what the worst part is?
You're really boring.
You're a child. I'm not 20 anymore.
Thank you. I know. I am a child.
So, that way, I can see the world for what it really is,
unlike the way the zombies have conditioned you to see it.
The zombies? I'm an adult.
I have a family. It's a fucking job!
Right, and I bet the only way to keep your child from starving
is lying for a bank!
You have this juvenile obsession with what?
Am I the guy who created this system you hate--?
I don't give a fuck about the system, okay? I care about you.
-Oh, my God, yes. -Yeah.
-I can tell. -Not this you, okay? Not this you.
The you you used to be.
-Before the fucking lobotomy. -I like my life.
Oh, do you like your life? I like my life. You should fucking love your life, Kyle.
You should've seen your eyes.
You should've seen your eyes when I described this weekend to you.
It was like I was offering you, like, a drop of water
and you were just dying of thirst.
No. I didn't know what it was.
It was called Rebirth!
What'd you think that meant, huh?
It means being born again.
It means a new life.
And that also, Kyle, means killing the old one, you understand?
This is also why we had to drain your savings account.
No, no, no. That was not real. That was a fake site.
Mm.
It was real. It's all real.
[car horn honking]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-Just relax. Relax. Relax. -Oh, my God.
Nothing is gonna happen, Kyle, okay? I'm gonna set you free.
All right, what do you want?
How do I make this stop, all right? What do you want from me?
What do I want from you? What do you want from you?
I want the same thing. I want you to reach enlightenment.
Yes. Okay, I'll do anything you want.
Just don't do this to my family.
Okay, in order for it to stop--
Right? You have to tell me that you felt something at Rebirth.
Yes, yes, yes, I felt something.
-Okay, good. What'd you feel? -Uh...
I don't know. I don't know. What do you want me to say?
-No, no, it has to be in your own words. -Oh, fuck.
Just tell me what you wanna hear.
Okay, close your eyes. Just close your eyes and tell me the truth, brother.
[panting]
-I felt scared, all right? -Good, good, good.
-I felt like I was gonna die. -Great.
I feel like I've been through a fucking war.
Yes. [laughs]
[smooches]
That's all I wanted to hear. That's it. [laughs]
-That's it? That's it? That's it? -Yeah, man. You've seen the other side.
-Yeah. Yeah. -You can go back to your desk
and tweet, twat, whatever the fuck you've been doing
for the rest of your life.
But nobody, nobody's gonna take the moment away from you
when you held a knife to a cult leader's throat
and busted your way out of a sex dungeon.
[both laughing]
-Huh? -Right. Right.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
And the sex dungeon part.
-That's over, too, right? -It's over.
I promise.
-[Mary] Hello. -Hey, we're in here.
I promise, man.
Okay?
You just gotta make a little donation.
[gasps]
Zack.
-Oh, my God. -Hey.
[Zack] Oh, man. Is this crazy or what?
-Oh, boy. [Mary] So crazy. Wow.
Look at you. Oh, man, you look amazing.
-Thank you. -Ha-ha.
-You guys look sweaty. -Oh, yeah.
We're guys.
-How long's it been? -I don't know.
I mean, long enough for you two lovebirds to have a little one, right?
-Right. Oh, yeah. -Yeah.
Hey, Jill, come meet Mom and Dad's friend.
No, no, no, wait. No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. Zack was just about to leave.
-Whoa. No, no, no, I'm dying to meet her. -Yay. Let me get her.
-Great. Wow, she's looking good, man. -What do you mean, a donation?
You know, a meaningful donation. I mean, we are a non-profit.
-Like money? -Yeah, money's good.
-How much money? -Some money from your bank would be nice.
I don't have access to my bank's money.
Oh, sure you do.
I write tweets to idiots who follow a bank on Twitter.
-I don't have acc-- -All you gotta do
is log on to your bank's server from your computer, okay?
The algorithm will do the rest.
-What algorithm? -Don't worry about it.
Her Highness is on her way down. [chuckles]
Hey, so, I watched some of the videos from Rebirth.
What?
Just the ones that you e-mailed me.
What? E-mailed?
Yeah, with the testimonials or whatever.
It actually looked kind of intriguing.
-You're not supposed to do that. -Oh, no.
No, no, it's okay.
Hey, hey, look, as long as we're breaking the rules here,
-I have some video of your boy. -Oh!
-No, no, no. -Wait, I wanna see it.
It's-- It's embarrassing, really.
Right, and you can't share the weekend with outsiders.
Oh, wow.
-It already sounds like a cult. -No, it's not a cult.
[both laugh]
I hear Kyle says that you guys go to a church.
[Mary] Yeah, we do. -Yeah?
Oh, I mean, you guys should like-- I mean, you should come.
You know, they like people from, like, all different kinds
-of, you know, spiritual paths. -She's not interested.
Actually, I don't know.
If you guys both really liked it,
-I'd be open-minded about it. -She's not interested.
She's not gonna do it, okay? Just leave us alone.
Kyle.
I think it's time you should leave.
Are you sure?
[Jill] Hey. [Kyle] Hey. Hey.
Hey, sweetie! Jill, this is Zack.
Hi, Jill, it's so nice to meet you.
You are as beautiful as your mother. [laughs]
Hey. Does anybody want any Kool-Aid?
There's still plenty left over from the seminar. Huh?
-Sure, that'd be good. -Yeah.
I know when I was a kid, I loved Kool-Aid.
Kids still like Kool-Aid, don't they, Jill?
-Okay. -Yummy.
-Hey, she's not thirsty. -Kyle, what are you doing?
-What are you doing? -I'll do it, okay?
-I'll do it. -Okay.
[Mary] Kyle, what's going on here?
No, this is...
This is over, all right? All right, I'll do it.
Um...
I think Kyle had kind of an intense day,
and I think he just needs a little decompression time.
Oh. Uh...
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I was-- -No, it's okay. It's okay.
It's all right. It's all right. It's not a big deal, okay?
Just stop talking.
All right. Well, how about us guys take a little retreat to the man cave?
If that's okay with you young ladies?
-Sure, yeah. -Yeah? Okay.
Well, fantastic, let's do it, bud.
[Kyle] It's all right. [Jill] Bye.
So nice to meet you.
[Kyle exhales]
[Zack] Hey.
So, Naomi's gonna shoot a little testimonial video,
if that's okay with you.
So, I wanna be clear.
I'm not going to get in trouble, right?
Of course not. You're my friend.
Are you sure?
We will never take enough to get detected, okay? I promise.
This is a good thing, Kyle.
You have an insane amount of potential.
You're gonna be an integral part of this community.
You're gonna run our new Media and Communications Department.
You're gonna help us reach a whole new group of people.
Help us make this something really big.
Help me, Kyle.
Help us.
Help yourself. [chuckles]
Have some fun for once in your life.
I mean, the worst case scenario...
...is you make a ton of money.
Dude, I guarantee you,
in five years, you're gonna think
this is the greatest thing that ever happened to you.
And... if you don't...
...you can leave any time you want.
[Kyle] You know, before I found Rebirth, I was lost.
I really was.
And the worst thing was I didn't know I was lost.
I was bottled up,
and it would come out in the dumbest ways.
Just basic stuff, like getting impatient with my wife,
or spending all day long looking at my phone,
and then getting mad in traffic.
[Mary] Kyle was a great husband,
a great father, a great provider.
Um, but he just-- He wasn't happy.
And it affected all of us.
I was living this default life
that everyone around me assumed was the best life possible.
But it just...
...wasn't making me happy.
And then I found Rebirth.
Hi, my name is Kyle Madison,
and I wanna tell you my Rebirth story.
Oh, yeah. I remember Kyle's first time at Rebirth. He was like...
You know, he was like, "What the hell did I just get myself involved in?"
[Jesse] It was almost like watching a game show
where you already know that the contestant's won a million dollars,
but they don't know yet.
Kyle.
His first time, you know, he was so sweet.
He was so open and fragile.
I just wanted to give him a massive Rebirth hug and be his mommy.
Everyone who was there was like, "Yup, scared that one off." [laughing]
I mean, I honestly never thought I was gonna see this guy ever again.
[sighs]
Hi, my name's Kyle Madison, and I just finished my first Rebirth.
Is that all right?
[man] The next weekend, he comes back.
So, I'm like, "Okay."
Weekend after that, we were in Cincinnati and Kyle flies in.
And, you know, that was it, that's when I knew that this guy was totally hooked.
I mean, his Z.W. potentials just exploded.
Kyle had been on my team for, like, five years, I think.
But he was one of those guys who's always in the back.
A nice guy, but never really initiated, you know?
Uh, but then, one Monday morning,
he came in, and it was like bam! You know? [laughs]
Who is this guy?
Suddenly, I had Mark Zuckerberg working for me, you know?
-Kyle's the man. -The man's a god.
It just brings clarity. That's all.
There's the world before Rebirth and the world after.
Everything unimportant just falls away.
You look at the world and you just see reality.
Just like that.
He's killing everyone with his perspectives.
Just murdering them.
And finally, I was like, "Hey, what's the secret?" You know?
And he looks at me, and he says, "What are you doing this weekend?"
Give it up for Chad!
[all cheering]
[laughing]
Right?
I knew he'd love it.
Pretty soon, the whole team loved it. Then the whole company loved it.
[chuckles]
We're basically the Rebirth branch of Wall Street now.
What Rebirth did for me was...
It didn't just show me how to escape the cage I'd built around myself...
...it actually showed me that the cage existed in the first place.
[Kyle] The first time my wife did her own Rebirth,
I was a little nervous, I'll admit.
[chuckles] But that's because I was clutching on to these zombie ideas
of control, mastery and conditioned attachments.
And what you learn is your marriage only hits the stratosphere
when you're both free to fly.
What people don't realize is Rebirth
is not just something you do one weekend a month.
It's a lifestyle.
Right, Jill?
We want our friends to do it. We want our parents to do it.
Our nanny, our neighbors. We definitely want our pastor to do it.
[Mary] I want my brother to do it.
-I want my mailman to do it. -[Kyle] Ha-ha-ha.
I couldn't wait to get our kids to do it.
Sometimes you're there to help a couple fetuses burst out of the womb
and find the warrior within.
Sometimes, you think you're there to deliver the fetus,
only to find out you're the fetus and they're there for you.
It's like every time you go to Rebirth, you're a different person.
So every Rebirth's different.
You never know what you're gonna find behind a new open door.
It's not just the workshops.
It's not just the Phase Two Life Activation Experience.
It's also the products.
[Mary] We don't even use the word "sell" in Rebirth.
Because once you realize how much better Rebirth's products are
than what you get in the store, it just-- It sells itself.
[Kyle] It's healthy. It's natural. It's good.
None of this processed crap.
[Mary] Jill is at an age where she's so picky about what she eats
and she loves the stuff.
I don't know what they put in it.
-Tell them your first Rebirth, babe. -Oh, yeah.
[Kyle] Heh. You weren't breathing properly.
You can breathe with your nose, you can breathe with your mouth.
But there are other ways to breathe.
Everybody knows there are no leaders at Rebirth,
because only you...
...can change your life.
But... [chuckling]
But we all know who that spark was.
[crowd cheering]
Zack 110 percent changed Kyle's life.
And mine too.
In the old days, people were afraid something horrible would happen to them.
Now they're afraid nothing will happen to them.
If Zack hadn't come into my life when he did...
I really don't like to think about it.
I really don't.
[Mary] Zack is just one of those magical beings
who can walk up to a stranger,
look her in the eye...
...and just immediately knows her deepest, most intimate needs.
Zack was like a brother to me
and now that we share Rebirth, he's like a big brother. [chuckles]
-He's the big brother to us all. -Yeah.
[cheering]
You know, when I started Rebirth in my garage,
you know, building it out one weekend at a time
to the global force for good that it is today...
...that was the easy part. You know?
Why I get out of bed every morning
is knowing that there's other Kyles out there.
You know what I mean?
You see him at the grocery store. See him at the gas station.
The drugstore.
[grunting]
Right?
See him on the highway. [whistles]
Going to work. Going home.
Going to work. Going home, you know?
Doing the Z.B. Zombie Boogie.
But if you look him them the eye, man, you'll see that they're dying,
dying for something better.
They know it's out there.
They just don't know what it is, you know?
So, let's bring him up here. Kyle Madison, everybody. Come on, man.
[Zack] Sometimes, uh, I feel like a hunter. [chuckles]
[laughing]
I got my gun, I got my bush hat on,
and I'm stalking through the suburban savannah,
searching for my prey...
...and it's my job never to sleep, okay?
It's my job never to take a break, never to stop, man,
until I share this with each and every Kyle.
It's an obligation.
It's a duty.
Whew. [chuckles]
Oh, man.
That's what gets me going. Hmm.
Mm-hm.
Yeah.
That's what Rebirth means to me.
[crowd cheering and whistling]
[all chanting] Rebirth! Rebirth! Rebirth!